1. God never hits me and He is my example of how to be a parent. To emulate Him I see no example of "hitting." This should be the only reason I need.
Prov. 10:22
It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, and He adds no sorrow to it.
1 Peter 2:21
1 Peter 2:21
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in is steps...
2. It is judging. Jesus said, "let the one who has no sin cast the first stone (punish her)." I am not demonstrating this by being the judge and jury for my child and casting "those stones" at my child.
John 8:1-11
But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.
The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they *said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”
They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him.
But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they *said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”
They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him.
But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.
When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
It is interesting to note here that most Christians today would find being called or equated with Pharisees to be an insult. the Pharisees were people who didn't know Christ! In this passage the Pharisees are like the pro-spanking parent who believes that when caught in a transgression their child (like the adulterous woman) need to be punished for it according to the Old Testament law!!!
However, the Pharisees cease to be equatable to the modern pro-spanking Christian...after they are done accusing and anticipating punishment for the woman because the Pharisees were at least humble and intelligent enough to realize that they had no right to punish her because they too, despite being the most spiritual authorities in their day, had sin.
3. Spanking teaches my child to "cast stones" at others and judge others. And, I am obligated to teach my children the right way to go...and to be like Christ. If I cast stones at them and punish them I am not doing that.
1 Peter 2:21
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
4. There is no fear in love…perfect love casts out fear! Being hit/spanked causes fear of the parent. Therefore, if we're to model ourselves after Father God who IS LOVE…we must not do anything to make our children afraid of us.
1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."
5. When our kids make mistakes we want them to run TO us so that we can show them how to fix the problem they've just created by their misdeed. If they're afraid of pain they'll run away and they'll have a hard time being forgiven and cleansed (as in that verse in 1 John).
6. The fact that they'll run away from us due to fear of pain is part of how God wired our brains. This is some of that Romans 1 evidence in the Creation that God does not want parents to ever be a source of pain to their children.
He is the one who wired our brains to avoid pain. Therefore, I can't believe that God wants the children to ever associate pain with us because He certainly does not want His children to run from Him nor our children to run from us.
He is the one who wired our brains to avoid pain. Therefore, I can't believe that God wants the children to ever associate pain with us because He certainly does not want His children to run from Him nor our children to run from us.
7. If perfect love casts out fear, then, fear must cast out perfect love. And, if God is love...if I fill my children with fear of being caught doing wrong...which they will do...then the fear I instill in them will cast out Love (aka God).
8. The things that are in the world are more scary than me but if my kids are more familiar with the pain they associate with me they'll be more inclined to seek solace and safety in those other things which may or may not be safe...
Like, a show I saw on tv where a 7 year old girl was squirted with a hose by a 16 year old boy as she passed by on her bike. She stopped and was so upset. She didn't want to go home because she was afraid "she'd get in trouble." So, she actually went inside this boy's house…TOOK OFF HER CLOTHES in this stranger's house because he "offered to put her clothes in the dryer"…and he then tied her up (hog-tied) and left her under his bed for 2 days!!!!! He did unspeakable things to her and she finally just died from the horror of it. He didn't kill her she just died!! ALL BECAUSE for some reason this little girl had learned that messing up = pain from her parents and to avoid that pain she ended up trusting a stranger!!!
Like, a show I saw on tv where a 7 year old girl was squirted with a hose by a 16 year old boy as she passed by on her bike. She stopped and was so upset. She didn't want to go home because she was afraid "she'd get in trouble." So, she actually went inside this boy's house…TOOK OFF HER CLOTHES in this stranger's house because he "offered to put her clothes in the dryer"…and he then tied her up (hog-tied) and left her under his bed for 2 days!!!!! He did unspeakable things to her and she finally just died from the horror of it. He didn't kill her she just died!! ALL BECAUSE for some reason this little girl had learned that messing up = pain from her parents and to avoid that pain she ended up trusting a stranger!!!
9. If I had to fear being hit/spanked by God for making mistakes I don't know if I could live. He's the only refuge I have when I mess up. I need to model that if I am to parent like Him! If this would devastate me and make me feel like "giving up" what does this do to my children?
10. It actually lowers IQ. God wants my children to be smart. If my children's intelligence suffers from something I'm doing, then that is not God's way...Jesus says we'll know by the fruit...and this is fruit that says God doesn't want children being hit...
Children who are spanked have lower IQ's
Spanking lowers IQ and raises aggression
Spanking lowers IQ and fosters aggression and depression
Kids who get spanked may have lower IQ's
Spanking lowers IQ researcher says
Does spanking lower kids' IQ?
Kids who get spanked my have lower IQ's
(just search on Google and you can find 100's of articles)
Spanking Hurts More than you Think
10. It actually lowers IQ. God wants my children to be smart. If my children's intelligence suffers from something I'm doing, then that is not God's way...Jesus says we'll know by the fruit...and this is fruit that says God doesn't want children being hit...
Children who are spanked have lower IQ's
Spanking lowers IQ and raises aggression
Spanking lowers IQ and fosters aggression and depression
Kids who get spanked may have lower IQ's
Spanking lowers IQ researcher says
Does spanking lower kids' IQ?
Kids who get spanked my have lower IQ's
(just search on Google and you can find 100's of articles)
Spanking Hurts More than you Think
11. It has been studied and proven that it leads to more aggressive behavior in children. (More fruit) God's ways may sometimes be hard or painful but always produce good fruit. This is not good fruit. And, it is not caring for my neighbor if I cause my child to become more aggressive because my child may take out his aggressions someday on them...
Even Jesus said that He only did what He saw the Father doing. Children learn by example. If Mom and Dad deal with conflict with them "by hitting" then the children will learn to handle conflict "with hitting"...it's simple. And, not only the modeled behavior, but, the aggression is also built up anger that the child has from being struck by the parent.
Even Jesus said that He only did what He saw the Father doing. Children learn by example. If Mom and Dad deal with conflict with them "by hitting" then the children will learn to handle conflict "with hitting"...it's simple. And, not only the modeled behavior, but, the aggression is also built up anger that the child has from being struck by the parent.
Spanking may lead to aggression later in life
Long term effects of spanking
Spanking linked to more aggression in kids
Spanking leads to child aggression and anxiety regardless of cultural norm
Study on aggression and spanking
(just Google it!)
(just Google it!)
12. It models the behavior that "when you're bigger than someone you can get what you want from them by force." (Even if it's a "good" thing as in you want the child to behave in a better way...it's still what "you" want and so to get what "you want" from the child if threats and coercion don't work you resort to force and the child sees that.)
13. It models the behavior that inflicting pain on another human being to get what you want from them is OK. This is not teaching children how to put others before themselves.
Matthew 5:38-40
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also."
Phil. 2
...have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also."
Phil. 2
...have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...
If Jesus instructed us to do the above to a grown-up, why would we believe that He would tell us to do otherwise with a child? We are to not hit back when a grown-up (who would know better) slaps us on our cheek, but, if a 5 year old hits his little sister we're supposed to hit him for it? Not only does this violate what Jesus said but again...it models wrong behavior for our children which would make it difficult for them to follow this command of Jesus'.
14. It teaches our little girls that it's normal to be in a relationship where the person bigger than you will hurt you or hit you when they don't like what you are doing. It sets girls up, therefore, to be abused by their husbands. The treatment that God says men are to give their wives...is not modeled when a father strikes a child.
"Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Is not modeled when a father strikes a daughter.
"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." Is not modeled when a father strikes a daughter.
"Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them." Is not modeled when a father strikes a daughter.
15. It models behavior for our sons that it is OK to be that bigger person and hit or hurt the smaller person in the relationship to control behavior. For our sons to be treated this way, or worse yet, to see their father striking his sister does not model how a husband is to treat a wife.
Another Reason Not to Spank: Raising a Bully
Spanking Your Kid Could Hatch a Bully
Spanking Breeds Bullies, Study Discovers
How a Bully is Made
Can Spanking Your Child Make Him into a Bully?
Spanking and Kids' Aggression
Another Reason Not to Spank: Raising a Bully
Spanking Your Kid Could Hatch a Bully
Spanking Breeds Bullies, Study Discovers
How a Bully is Made
Can Spanking Your Child Make Him into a Bully?
Spanking and Kids' Aggression
16. It associates pain with love in a way that has shown in studies can lead to sadomasochistic ways in adults. (you know, the kind of people who love to be whipped or spanked) God's ways lead to life and this is what we all want, isn't it? Life for our children? Isn't it why we think we're spanking them "for their own good?" It can only be "for their good" if it has good fruit but...alas...the fruit begs to differ. Jesus said we'll know things by their fruits. This is not good fruit. Therefore, the seed is bad...
17. The spanking can stimulate the genitals. Though, completely unintentionally this easily happens because they are "right there" where the spanking occurs. Bend over and put your hand on the areas where the "paddle of choice" can strike and feel how close your own private area is to that. This has been shown to cause weird sexual associations/problems in some people. This being a possibility tells me God could not possibly have intended us to do this!
Sex is the spiritual glue that makes the man and wife "one flesh." It bonds us and brings new life to the world thru that act. If something we're doing to our children can disrupt that or pervert that...it can't be "of God" but must be of that other guy who is here to steal, kill, and destroy...
Spanking may cause sexual deviancy
Spanking can cause mental illness
Spanking kids increases risk of sexual problems as adults
Spanking may lead to sexual problems later
Is it discipline or sexual assault?
Spanking may lead to sexual problems later in life
Spanking raises risk of later sexual problems
Sex is the spiritual glue that makes the man and wife "one flesh." It bonds us and brings new life to the world thru that act. If something we're doing to our children can disrupt that or pervert that...it can't be "of God" but must be of that other guy who is here to steal, kill, and destroy...
Spanking may cause sexual deviancy
Spanking can cause mental illness
Spanking kids increases risk of sexual problems as adults
Spanking may lead to sexual problems later
Is it discipline or sexual assault?
Spanking may lead to sexual problems later in life
Spanking raises risk of later sexual problems
You see this plant? How did the plants get twisted this way? They were twisted when they were young and flexible and when they are old...they do not depart from it. This is Romans 1 evidence in nature that you mix spanking and "love" and that twisting of pain, the genital area, and love will remain intertwined! :(
18. It is inappropriate for me to touch my child disrespectfully in a sexual area. The fact that I the buttocks is a "sexual" area of the body is demonstrated by the fact that I would not rub or massage my child's buttocks without feeling weird...nor would I feel OK with seeing someone else do it to my children. Therefore...I see this as evidence that this is not an area to be hit either.
The buttocks is a sexual area
The buttocks is a sexual area
19. In the book of Proverbs, the word used for the type of "child" that is to be struck is a very specific word. It's the word for "male teenager." Biblically, there is no foundation or instruction to hit toddlers, small children, or babies in any way...and NEVER a female.
20. In the Bible people were always and only struck on the back not the buttocks and no one in the modern world would be OK with parents whipping their children's backs. If we really wanna be Biblical about it, we'd use what they used and hit where they hit back then...and we don't. If we can't do that...there's something wrong with our modern interpretation and practice. This is at least one reason to question and to thoroughly investigate this practice rather than to blindly follow what the culture has come to accept.
A wooden spoon is not "the rod" that they were talking about in Proverbs. Not even close! If we were willing to use the true rod spoken of in the Bible and could agree that using that on our children would help them...then we could all agree that spanking is a Biblical idea...but I don't think any Christians are gonna try and assert that we're supposed to club our children...THAT would be consistent with the "rod verses" if they are to be taken literally...
Not something to be dismissed. This is serious...
A wooden spoon is not "the rod" that they were talking about in Proverbs. Not even close! If we were willing to use the true rod spoken of in the Bible and could agree that using that on our children would help them...then we could all agree that spanking is a Biblical idea...but I don't think any Christians are gonna try and assert that we're supposed to club our children...THAT would be consistent with the "rod verses" if they are to be taken literally...
Not something to be dismissed. This is serious...
