Thursday, October 31, 2013

Spanking and Discipline are mutually exclusive!

So...we had houseguests... 

One of the guests was a child. That child...was alone in a room with several fish tanks. I saw from a distance as the child put "something" into one of the tanks. Couldn't quite see what it was but it was not fish food. I didn't make a deal about it because it's something kids do. 

A day after my guests were $8 fish and one other fish in that tank were bygones. Yep. Gonners. Dead. 

My first thought was that this was a "teaching moment." then 3 and 5 year olds poured a tiny can of jalepeños into a fish tank we had. Yeah. I attempted to get the fish out and change the water as fast as I could but it didn't take long...death came quickly! Kids do stuff and they learn, right? 

So, if my kids had done this, I'd want to tell them, "Hey, guess what? You put something in that fish tank and it killed two of the fish. THAT is why you should never put random stuff in fish tanks, not just 'cause Mom is no fun when she says not to do stuff!"

It's a simple cause and effect teaching moment. I'd loved to have called that mom and told her..."Hey, tell your kid that two of the fish in that tank he put a buncha' stuff in died...and that one of those fish cost $8..." because then...the fish basically wouldn't have died in vain, right?

But...I don't know how they will see it. How will they react? What would they do if I called them and told them that?

My suspicion is...they'd get off the phone, turn to the kid and someone would be "in trouble." I fear it wouldn't be seen as a discipling/teaching moment but that the child would get scolded, humiliated, attacked, and punished...and then already feeling humiliated and feeling like I'm a big tattle tale that could never be trusted, probably forced to call me and say,"sorry" to me.

It's a shame. It's an important teachable/discipling moment (over something trivial and yet important) and I can't do anything about it. you can see...actually prevents true discipline. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

You may also like...