Testing the Spirit of the Advice you Follow

Some of the most popular books in the bookstores are ones on how to raise children.

Christians, obviously, filter thru all the books out there to find the ones written by Christians. Christians want only godly advice, to raise up godly children. And when it comes to choosing the right books, we rely on this teaching...

1 John 4

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world. 

So, we check to see if whoever it is "confesses Christ" or not.
But Satan and his minions are what? Liars. Yes? So, if you ask him or his little worker-bees, “Are you Christian,” what will they say? Will they tell you the truth? Or will he twist God's word and toss it back to you like colorful beach ball and hope you catch it and play along? 

When satan was attempting to take down Jesus, he tossed scripture at Him. But Jesus saw thru satan's attempt to manipulate Him thru quoting scripture, didn't He?

Eve, however...she wasn't so smart, was she?

So...if we can't rely on what people say...how do we test those spirits then, to see if they really ARE from God or not?

1 John 1:6

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth;

We look at the walk...and...

Luke 6:43

For there is no good tree which produces bad fruit, nor, on the other hand, a bad tree which produces good fruit.

Luke 6:44

For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick grapes from a briar bush.

Matthew 7:17

So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.

Matthew 7:18

A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.

Matthew 7:19

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Matthew 7:20

So then, you will know them by their fruits.

You look at the fruit.

The walk, and the fruits tell all.

So when it comes to all the many child-rearing manuals out there...what could they be advising that would indicate that they are "confessing" that Christ has come in the flesh? What was Christ all about? Why'd He come?

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners;

Galatians 5:1

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

Freedom.

One of the very foundational things we're told about why Christ died...was for freedom. It was for freedom He went to the cross and did all that suffering.

Romans 1 says anything you want to know is evident in the Creation, and the life-robbing qualities of freedom's opposite are evident all over Creation. One sure-fire way to make any animal develop bad and even dangerous characteristics...is to cage them. And all around the world, universally, we see that "slavery" and "captivity" are the worst states a human can be in. People of every religion and philosophy will fight to the death...to be free.

So here's one question to start with: Does the child-rearing advice you're reading...focus on freedom...or on control? 

And what is the fruit in your child? Does your following of that author's advice lead to your child working on keeping watch over their every step? Does your book lead your children to feeling led, guided, safe, and free? Or...controlled, managed, and afraid? Do your children feel free, or like they are in a cage of rules and regulations?

Caging in Creation leads to bad fruit.

Freedom leads to good fruit.

So, would you think advice that focuses on teaching parents to manage, control and monitor their children is "confessing that Christ has come in the flesh...to die to set us free"? This is crucial because it is, "By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God."

"But my children are good and obedient!" Yes! But are they free? Do they obey freely? Do they obey out of love, with the freedom to disobey? Or do they obey out of fear?

I'm not talking about letting kids "run wild." Boundaries are good and necessary for freedom.

The lines in the highway which "confine" me to my lane make me safe and free to drive. Without the lines, I'm controlled by fear and am not free. But it's one thing to put lines in the road to show me where to drive, and another thing entirely to sit in the car with me and tell me what to do, where to go, and keep one hand on the steering wheel while I drive. 

Defining the boundary leaves me free to drive.
Keeping one hand on the steering wheel makes my act of driving "slavery".

It was for freedom that Christ died. His sacrifice defines the boundary.

There is no fear in love.

God is love.

By advising you to manage, control, and monitor your children's every move...not only are both you and your children not free...they are sending you backwards, out of the New Testament into the Old...

Galatians 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, 

for if righteousness comes through the Law, 

then Christ died needlessly.”

Therefore...no matter what those authors say about themselves and their advice...no matter what pastors and "the Church" at large says about those authors...the Bible has one place for their advice...

Matthew 7:19

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Guest Post: a lesson in hypocrisy(ies) ....no penance required

i walked into my daughter's room to wake her for the day, sat down on her bed and looked over at her math workbook and the goniometer (a math tool) setting there amidst blankets and a million other things, and thought "she's going to lose that in this sh#$hole." 

<i'm so irritated at and frustrated with and overwhelmed by their messes.>

 i awoke her--and in the process of standing up and walking out of her room i made a subconscious choice, followed through mechanically, and forgot what i'd done (which you'll soon realize, which you can probably already guess). 

she came out of her room, we ate breakfast, got started on math; i asked her where her workbook and goniometer were, she promptly found the first but said she couldn't find the latter. 

i promptly told her she had to--couldn't do anything else in fact until she did so (because, i was thinking, she's the one who left it in that pile of crap on her bed). 

she insisted it wasn't there; i insisted it was, i'd seen it when i went in to wake her. she set about searching, high and low (between and under and against and inside and on top of...), in that room--and i didn't help ("why should i" i reasoned internally, "it's her mess, her irresponsibility, and i have other things to do"). 

she was exasperated and upset, and i remained insistent (up on my parental adult-with-authority platform) that she find it, although i did (with pious grace) let her know it wouldn't be needed for a couple days...but after that it would be, so "it better be found before then." 

....and all the while i had a tiny inkling of a thought that maybe i had picked it up and carried it out with me, knowing it'd get lost in the shuffle of sheets and stuff; and a recollection of a time or two or three when i had wrongly accused my kids of losing things and ended up finding them right where i'd set them; and a remembrance of the feeling of remorse after such times and the determination to not do it again ....but i ignored all such thoughts <i'm sorry God for not listening> and plowed ahead with placing blame on summer. 

....and then (later that morning)--i lifted up several items (my items) in a pile (my pile) on the dining room table, and there was the goniometer, right where i'd set it. 

--it's no wonder i had no recollection where i'd put it, my stuff and piles of stuff scattered around the house as they are. 

i apologized, and thought of what i must do to make it right--pay her? buy her a gift? --i felt the need to do penance. but in her face i saw forgiveness, humor even--she laughed at me, and smiled. "you've done it before mom, it's ok." 

and i've been thinking--when my children throw fits (which is what i did), when they act disgusted by me and say unkind things and make false assumptions and take their anger and frustration out on me (all that is uncomfortably personally familiar), and then when they come around (which they always do) and apologize, and reconnect....do i as the adult feel the need to administer punishment--take away a privilege, hang onto my (righteous) anger, require penance? ...or do i smile, maybe even laugh, and forgive, no holds barred, no penance required? 

--do i extend to my children the same grace they give to me?

that is the "footage" i will hold in my mind and heart--the image of my daughter's sweet smile, the sound of her gentle laugh, the feel of her forgiveness and absence of punishing anger, the lack of expectations for penance. and that is the grace i will extend to my children.

by Heather Schopp