Who do you trust?

So, imagine you are struggling with something you are being tempted to do. Say there is someone at work you find attractive and it's a serious struggle for you not to think about or talk to that person. You're married! You know adultery is wrong!

Or, say you've actually had an affair and are torn. You know it was wrong!

Or, what if you are being tempted to cheat on a college exam...or use drugs...or steal from your boss...

Who do you talk to about it?

I mean, really think of that person. Who is that one person you talk to about things? 

Why do you talk to them?

Is it because they will look at you in disgust and tell you how awful you are? Is it because you know they will judge you, turn their back on you, and maybe blast your shame out on social media for all to see?

Generally, I have to assume "you" are like "me" and you go to people you think will understand your struggle...and not judge you. You go to someone who you believe will see "you" above whatever the particular thing actually is and will help you...help you figure out what to do to fix whatever it is.

That person is usually called what? If not your best friend, a close one, right? At the very least...this person is called your friend.

So, how about your children? Think about them. If they had any temptations or actual failures they were struggling with right now...would they come to you with them? Would they feel safe with you? Would they feel you could see "them" and not their struggle? Would they feel confident you would help them? Do they see you as a friend?

Spanking and punishing is used with the intention to deter "bad behavior" but ask yourself this, "Can it prevent bad decisions from happening?" 

Spanking...no matter how rightly or consistently you think you're doing it...cannot create perfect sinless people, can it? So, no matter how much you spank or punish your children...even if they've been fully convinced of what's right and wrong...they will be tempted and they will sometimes fail. 

So, then what? Then who will they turn to? 

Do you suppose that if you haven't already been made aware of whatever it is, that they will want to volunteer this information to you when what you have to offer is punishment?

Their temptation or failure is already punishing them, and they're struggling because they already know they can't do what they're being tempted to do, or shouldn't have done what they did, so what they need is a way out...a way to fix what they did. 

So, who are you driving your kids to go to for advice at times like this? They will seek out, as do we, those who will not judge them for what they've done, but sadly this is usually peers. Is that who you want your children going to for advice and guidance when sin is crouching at their door?

Tell me...do you fear taking your temptations and failures to God? If you don't...and your children fear coming to you...are you parenting God's way?

God is our Father and we are told to be like Him...

1 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore I exhort you, be imitators of me.

1 Corinthians 11:1

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.

Ephesians 5:1

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;

What are we to imitate?

Luke 5:20

Seeing their faith, He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.”

Luke 7:34

The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

Luke 12:4

“I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that have no more that they can do.

John 3:29

He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full.

John 11:11

This He said, and after that He said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I go, so that I may awaken him out of sleep.”

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:14

You are My friends if you do what I command you.

John 15:15

No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

James 2:23

and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS,” and he was called the friend of God.

Sin punishes.
Sin hurts.
God saves. God protect. God leads. God teaches/disciplines. God guides.

3 John 1:11

Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God.

Sin punishes us but God saves

If I know the right thing to do and choose not to do it...it's called, "sin."

God's designed Creation to teach me that when I sin...it sows bad things, and that I will sooner or later then reap what I've sown.

"...you have sinned against the Lord, 
and be sure your sin will find you out."

Numbers 32:23

"Jesus *said to him, “Put your sword back into its place; 
for all those who take up the sword shall perishby the sword."

Matthew 26:53

"He who sows iniquity will reap vanity"

Proverbs 22:8

"The wicked earns deceptive wages, 
But he who sows righteousness gets a true reward."

Proverbs 11:18

"The sting of death is sin..."

1 Corinthians 15:56

Sin...punishes me because bad things we do have bad (painful) consequences.

Understanding this concept that God has put into the Creation is important for us. The way God has designed things there is a clear picture of what harms us and what saves us.

"His own iniquities will capture the wicked, 
And he will be held with the cords of his sin."

Proverbs 5:22

Jesus answered them, 
“Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin 
is the slave of sin."

John 8:34

Jesus came to the world to save me from sins...and often from the consequences of my sin. Jesus came to the world to save me from that punishment.

Sin hurts. Sin punishes.

Jesus saves. Jesus forgives.

Jesus is our example how to live. How to parent.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;"

Ephesians 5:1

When parents cross that line and take on the role of the punishment...they've abandoned God's original design and blurred the clarity of sowing and reaping because the parents change where the pain comes from when they behave like "the sin" and cause pain to their child...

So, what do you imitate in your parenting? Whose example do you follow?

"And so, by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ."

1 Corinthians 8:12

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavymillstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea."

Mark 9:42

"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom... 

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable,full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

James 3:13-18