Testing the Spirit of the Advice you Follow

Some of the most popular books in the bookstores are ones on how to raise children.

Christians, obviously, filter thru all the books out there to find the ones written by Christians. Christians want only godly advice, to raise up godly children. And when it comes to choosing the right books, we rely on this teaching...

1 John 4

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world. 

So, we check to see if whoever it is "confesses Christ" or not.
But Satan and his minions are what? Liars. Yes? So, if you ask him or his little worker-bees, “Are you Christian,” what will they say? Will they tell you the truth? Or will he twist God's word and toss it back to you like colorful beach ball and hope you catch it and play along? 

When satan was attempting to take down Jesus, he tossed scripture at Him. But Jesus saw thru satan's attempt to manipulate Him thru quoting scripture, didn't He?

Eve, however...she wasn't so smart, was she?

So...if we can't rely on what people say...how do we test those spirits then, to see if they really ARE from God or not?

1 John 1:6

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth;

We look at the walk...and...

Luke 6:43

For there is no good tree which produces bad fruit, nor, on the other hand, a bad tree which produces good fruit.

Luke 6:44

For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick grapes from a briar bush.

Matthew 7:17

So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.

Matthew 7:18

A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.

Matthew 7:19

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Matthew 7:20

So then, you will know them by their fruits.

You look at the fruit.

The walk, and the fruits tell all.

So when it comes to all the many child-rearing manuals out there...what could they be advising that would indicate that they are "confessing" that Christ has come in the flesh? What was Christ all about? Why'd He come?

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners;

Galatians 5:1

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

Freedom.

One of the very foundational things we're told about why Christ died...was for freedom. It was for freedom He went to the cross and did all that suffering.

Romans 1 says anything you want to know is evident in the Creation, and the life-robbing qualities of freedom's opposite are evident all over Creation. One sure-fire way to make any animal develop bad and even dangerous characteristics...is to cage them. And all around the world, universally, we see that "slavery" and "captivity" are the worst states a human can be in. People of every religion and philosophy will fight to the death...to be free.

So here's one question to start with: Does the child-rearing advice you're reading...focus on freedom...or on control? 

And what is the fruit in your child? Does your following of that author's advice lead to your child working on keeping watch over their every step? Does your book lead your children to feeling led, guided, safe, and free? Or...controlled, managed, and afraid? Do your children feel free, or like they are in a cage of rules and regulations?

Caging in Creation leads to bad fruit.

Freedom leads to good fruit.

So, would you think advice that focuses on teaching parents to manage, control and monitor their children is "confessing that Christ has come in the flesh...to die to set us free"? This is crucial because it is, "By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God."

"But my children are good and obedient!" Yes! But are they free? Do they obey freely? Do they obey out of love, with the freedom to disobey? Or do they obey out of fear?

I'm not talking about letting kids "run wild." Boundaries are good and necessary for freedom.

The lines in the highway which "confine" me to my lane make me safe and free to drive. Without the lines, I'm controlled by fear and am not free. But it's one thing to put lines in the road to show me where to drive, and another thing entirely to sit in the car with me and tell me what to do, where to go, and keep one hand on the steering wheel while I drive. 

Defining the boundary leaves me free to drive.
Keeping one hand on the steering wheel makes my act of driving "slavery".

It was for freedom that Christ died. His sacrifice defines the boundary.

There is no fear in love.

God is love.

By advising you to manage, control, and monitor your children's every move...not only are both you and your children not free...they are sending you backwards, out of the New Testament into the Old...

Galatians 2:21

I do not nullify the grace of God, 

for if righteousness comes through the Law, 

then Christ died needlessly.”

Therefore...no matter what those authors say about themselves and their advice...no matter what pastors and "the Church" at large says about those authors...the Bible has one place for their advice...

Matthew 7:19

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Should you take advice from James Dobson on children?

One thing that is important is to consider very seriously who you take advice from, true?

2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires...

Parents these days pretty much all seem to want babies to sleep and kids to unquestioningly obey them. So, how do we know if the people we take advice from are giving truly Godly advice or if we have simply "accumulated teachers in accordance to our own desires?" How can we be sure we're really following God's advice and not just finding teachers who tell us what we want to hear?

Jesus warned us...

Matthew 7:15-17
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits.

That means that if your neighbor is trying to tell you what to do with your kids, and her kids look like this (or worse) all of the time:

(pic from some old horror movie)

If you look at your neighbor's kids and see they are always unhappy (lacking in the fruits of the Spirit)...I guess you would realize you need to smile politely and thank her and go on your merry way and not take their advice. Their fruits speak. That's one way we can know. 

And, considering that Jesus said this about people who give bad advice about children, "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble." We need to be very careful and take this very seriously, true?

But, if the person we're considering taking advice from is a "famous person" who you don't know personally (so we can't really see their fruit) then how can you tell? In some cases, like in the case of Gary Ezzo, the author of, "On Becoming Babywise," and "Growing Kids God's Way," thanks to modern technology you can read his bio online at least to find out that he was kicked out of a church for embezzlement and that his own kids have disowned him. That would be some serious fruit that would say, "No. Don't listen to this guy." 

But, what about mainstream super popular guys like James Dobson? 

Eeeevvverybody loves him! Look at that smiling face! He's behind Adventures in Odyssey! He's got all those Christian marriage DVDs and books! He's the Christian author of bunches of child rearing books! He's got a radio show! Dobson's practically a household name in all Christian homes! Surely HE is a good guy to listen to?! He does talk about Jesus all the time and has a lot of good advice...and his ministry is called, "Focus on the Family!" He's gotta be a good guy!!

But, we're supposed to trust in God, not man. And, that means we have to be careful with everyone's teaching. We must remember the serpent's words to Eve...and realize that usually false prophets preach a lot of truth with just enough lie mixed in that it becomes deadly. So, we still need to be careful even with popular teachers. Individually, we're responsible for what we take in and believe. So, how do we know?

Someone posted something on facebook recently about "accusing". And, about the spirit behind certain types of people who eagerly jump on ya and call you names. And, it's true...satan is "the accuser". I think it fits here as one of the ways to be able to tell about people.

Jesus said something about this in a way here: 

“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.“ Matt. 5:21-22

Since satan is the accuser of the brethren, I guess if someone is acting like an accuser...that would be one clue to us. Satan speaks against us and is against God. Someone who is for God would speak about us as God does. There really is no middle ground. Someone is either for or against God...

Luke 11:23
He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me, scatters.

So, on the topic of children...here are some things God has said about children:

Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Matthew 18:2-4
And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Luke 18:15-17
And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, “Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.”

And, so, if Dobson is gathering with God on this topic...if he is speaking for God...he should agree with God, true? 

So, what does Dobson say about children?

Here are a few things Dobson has referred to children as in his books:

“brat, bratty, pugnacious, spitfires, defiant, confirmed anarchists, hot lava, Goody Two-Shoes, sneaky, horrid, little revolutionaries, defiant, contentious, double trouble, hardheaded as mules, tough-minded, little fat-fingers, defiant, toughie, irritating, pack of adolescent wolves, confirmed revolutionary, Hurricane Hannah, little chameleon, negative, sour, sullen, ill-tempered, prissy, stick of dynamite, flighty, spoiled brat, goof-off, obnoxious, fireball, snippy, defiant, rambunctious, difficult, testy, groaning lump, nasty, all legs, all nose and ears, cantankerous, rude, unruly, stubborn, defiant, hostile, mischievous, gangly legs, foolish, selfish, insane”

Hmmm...

Gathering? Scattering?

Dobson sounds almost...like the accuser, doesn't he?

"...I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell."" Matt. 5:21-22

It almost sounds like he "hates" kids saying all those awful things about them, doesn't it?

1 John 4:20
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.

Even a little bit of poison mixed into a huge healthy meal will still make you sick or kill you. Even if you think a lot of Dobson's advice is good...you can't ignore the fruit...or as a lover of The Truth...you shouldn't...

Ephesians 5:15
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise...

Another article on Dobson