Monday, September 2, 2013

Guest Post by "Dianne" about stopping spanking...

There’s this awkward time after you stop spanking, and it’s like.....well, what DO we do? The children are thinking what WILL they do? There’s a time where the children are thinking, YAHOO! No more spanking! I don’t have to be afraid of it anymore! 

We’ve seen our kids come out of their shells. They are no longer scared to share their thoughts and emotions with us. They no longer freeze in terror when they’ve done something wrong, too afraid to comment on what happened.

The children began to even get TOO comfortable. By that, I mean feeling free to express exactly what they were feeling, and what they thought. I believe children should be able to speak to us about how they are feeling, and thinking. I do not think they should be rude, just as I wouldn’t towards them. My husband and I were beginning to wonder what was happening. How will this work? What is going on?

Today it hit me. One of the children was speaking to another child in my husband's range of hearing. She said, “So, they can’t hurt me.” Meaning, mom and dad have promised not to spank anymore, so what can happen to me?

I guess if the only concern one had, was how to avoid a spank each day....then that concern was over and they could let their hair down so to speak. Here’s the thing though. It was a BINGO moment. That was it. That was exactly it! We do not want our kids motivated by if I get caught I get hurt, or if I don’t do it I get spanked, so I must comply.

I want my kids to do what is right because they love me. Jesus said if you love Him, obey Him. I want my children to want to listen because they desire to. If they want to listen, they will do it when I’m there or not. They will understand I love them, and I want the best for them.

I feel it was a pivotal moment, breaking through that mindset of do it or else. Now we can replace it with the correct mindset, which is that we do it because it’s the right thing to do.

The sky in Guatemala 2001

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