Here are a few quotes from their books that I challenge and deconstruct in, 'Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting,' that show why this book absolutely needed to be written:
“After ten acts of stubborn defiance, followed by ten switchings, he surrendered his will to one higher than himself.” (about whipping a 15 month old) …
”Don't wait until they are one year old to start training. Rebellion and self-will should be broken in the six-month-old when it first appears…
"never show mercy. One squeak of a scream gets a switching.” (about whipping a 3-year-old) …
“For young children, especially during the first year, the rod is used as a training tool. You use something small and light to get the child’s attention and to reinforce your command. One or two light licks on the bare legs or arms will cause a child to stop in his tracks and regard your commands. A 12-inch piece of weed eater chord(sic) works well as a beginner rod. It will fit in your purse or pocket. Later, a plumber’s supply line is a good spanking tool…A baby needs to be trained all day, everyday.” (Michael Pearl)
“Pain is a marvelous purifier…It is not necessary to beat the child into submission; a little bit of pain goes a long way for a young child. However, the spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely… Real crying usually lasts two minutes or less, but may continue for five. After that point, the child is merely complaining... I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears.” (Dr. James Dobson)
“Even at mealtime, be looking for training opportunities in order to avoid retraining. Don’t allow poor eating habits– such as fingers in the mouth, playing with food, and spitting out food–to become a normal pattern of your child’s behavior. It only means correcting the child at a later date…
”Chastisement [spanking] is the price paid to remove the guilt thus free the child from his burden. If the parents do not remove the guilt, the child lives under the weight of sin.” (Gary Ezzo)
“A parent must recognize and see clearly that Biblically beating his child sensitizes that child not only to the fact of sin but also to its ugliness. In addition, the child will see that the penalty must always be paid when we sin…The one who does not Biblically beat his child, in a loving and consistent way, in a very real sense predisposes that child for hell and even has a very direct part in sending him there.” (Ronald E. William)
"Father: You didn't obey Daddy, did you?
Child: No.
Father: Do you remember what God says Daddy must do if you disobey?
Child: Spank me?
Father: That's right. I must spank you. If I don't, then I would be disobeying God. You and I would both be wrong. That would not be good for you or for me, would it?
Child: No. (A reluctant reply)"...
"If your child is still angry, it’s time for another round. ‘Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking"...
"If you fail to spank, you fail to take God's Word seriously. You are saying you do not believe what the Bible teaches about the import of these issues. You are saying that you do not love your child enough to do the painful things that God has called you to.” (Tedd Tripp)
The Bible absolutely does NOT command or even recommend spanking, and these books using God's Word to strong-arm parents into believing that they have to hit their children to save them from hell, that not hitting their children shows that they don't believe God and don't love their children is unconscionable.
'Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting' gives Christian parents the chance to see things differently, to follow their hearts, to make peaceful parenting choices, and it offers them the Scriptural support to defend their parenting beliefs when challenged.
Change is hard, and backlash is inevitable when deeply rooted cultural beliefs are confronted. That's okay. This book is simply a starting place, a beginning, a whisper of a hope for a more peaceful future that has its roots in the gentle hearts of parents tenderly and compassionately raising the next generation of gentle parents.
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